Relationships are a vital part of our lives, whether platonic or intimate, we are all in relationships of some sort. If you think about it, we are made of relationships and we are products of relationships. It is likely that as the days go by, we are prone to get into new relationships each time we meet someone new. Romantic relationships is our focus for the day and our expert on this topic is Josphine Kioko a.k.a Antie Jossy, a Sexologist and relationship therapist. In this digital age, we see a lot of commercialization around romantic relationships not only to those in marriage but to those outside this institution.
Today, we begin to see the effects of commercialized romance and one of them is rampant sex. Sex before marriage has been okayed and made to look normal. ‘Sex Marketing’ has caused the youth to use sex as a tranquilizer, to solve deep issues in their lives instead of facing the real issues head on. Some use sex to ‘solve’ issues such as; rejection, depression, failure, addiction, economic pressures among other personal struggles. This ‘solution’ however, is short lived and this way, we the individual keeps going back for more with an aim of covering reality. Unfortunately, in the process of seeking false comfort, the individual finds him\herself in more trouble. Wrong relationships, toxic bonds and unfortunate life situations.
Why Should You Abstain?
To abstain is to restrain yourself from sex. The young person needs to realize that premarital sex is not love. “Abstaining helps one concentrate on the important areas life, may it be education, career, relationships and self-development. The amount of energy
both physical and divine taken from a person engaging in premarital sex is a lot and that alone has the power to derail your life.” Says Ms Josphine.
According to Anty Josy, Being in a sexual relationship exposes one to diseases; STIs, young people mostly care about getting pregnant but not getting infected. This is why there is a high intake of Postinor Pill (P2). For example, Human Papillomavirus has more than 100
strains and 50 per cent of this strains lead to various types of cancer; anal, virginal, cervical cancers and such diseases start to cripple the daily life of the victim. Bacterial infections are also contacted through sexual engagements and these infections go to the extents of
causing infertility. HIV/AIDS among other infections are the reality of premarital sex and these predicaments alone should be reason enough to abstain. We cannot shy away from the fact that sex was made for the marriage institution, and each time it is done outside the designated institution, there are dire consequences one has to live with. Some of these effects are invisible while some are visible; heartbreaks, identity issues, depression, loss of dignity, unwanted pregnancies, unplanned for babies, abortions, toxic bonds, wrong relationships, suicidal thoughts among other effects.
Today, we are seeing the effects of premarital sex with the increase of single parent families. 80 per cent of these families are as a result of sex before marriage after which the man or the woman runs from responsibility. Looking at it from a societal aspect, indulging in premarital sex not only affects the individual but it also spills to the society. “Bringing up children from broken relationships takes a toll on the extended family and society at large. This also contributes further to the deteriorating moral fabric with dysfunctional relationships such as sugar daddies and sugar mummies increasing.” Said Antie Jossy
To abstain, one must have self-control that will help in keeping off the causes or the motivation that influence them to engage in premarital sex. This could be restraining from friends leading you in that direction, behavior such as watching pornography, drug abuse, idling e.t.c… Taking up new courses, hobbies, increasing your daily activities ,self-development and keeping busy helps one abstain from premarital sex.