Raped By My father, Destroyed By Drugs, But I Proclaim Victory Today

The mention of the term ‘loved one’ brings with it a sense of trust, safety, affection, and intimacy. A loved one could be a friend, family member, or a romantic partner, someone close to your heart. But… what happens when a loved one betrays you? Deceives you and even endangers you? Caroline Wanjiru, our subject for the day recounts how she fell into the hands of a perpetrator, her stepfather, who was supposed to protect and guard her at a very young age.

At the age of six years, Wanjiru was sexually abused by her father, not knowing what to do. At that tender age, she was defiled over and over for 6 years, under the nose of her biological mother. Wanjiru is keen to let us know that her younger sister also fell victim to the same abuse at the same time. Both of them were sexually abused as little girls. She says they were under constant threats and restrictions that obstructed them from disclosing what they were going through to anyone. In her thoughts as a little girl, Wanjiru says she thought reporting this unending act of rape would upset her mother. In retrospect, she says, it would have been the right to speak up, but as the elder sister, she chose to be quiet for the sake of peace at home.

At the age of 12, as fate would have it, Wanjiru’s family moved to the United States where she says it all ended after she had to go to the United Kingdom for education. And even though at this point she parted ways with her sister, they were still bound by this dark secret. Both of them would be away, at least from this household monster. Little did Wanjiru know that this was the beginning of another episode of pain, trauma, and devastation.

At the age of 16, Wanjiru began seeking help, not in therapy, but in drugs and alcohol. Since she had no one to open up to due to fear, she embraced alcohol, cocaine, weed, and speed (Amphetamine) and she turned into a poly addict. Wanjiru found refuge in the enemy. Her trust had been broken at a young age, by someone who was supposed to nurture it, and her love was tarnished too. This made her combative and she pushed everyone away, and could not even keep friends or a relationship for the fear of being hurt.

Wanjiru says that at the age of 21, after getting exposure from the western world, she realized it was okay to speak out. Therefore, together with her younger sister, they finally came clean and told their mother about the encounter with the wolf in sheep’s skin. Her mother, though broken and pained by the revelation, could not do much. The devastating news caused them to separate, but even after separating from her husband, they later reconciled and mend their relationship. 

The turn of events hurt Wanjiru, and she went on a roll to blame everyone around her for her pain. She became unapproachable and unlovable and this pushed her more and more to drugs. She lost it and lost everything she ever earned, including her dignity. She had nothing to lose and she lived like it, a dark life that was a fast-moving snowball. Once, Wanjiru remembers being told by her university principal in Switzerland that all the answers she was seeking in the bottles, needles, puffs, and injections could only be found in the Bible. John 10:10; The devil comes to kill, steal and destroy and she was at the point of destruction. There needed to be a turnaround.

She moved back to Kenya and her state worsened, but there is a strange culture she adapted, going to church every Sunday, even in her drunken state. She slowly began seeking God even if it meant going to church and dozing off through the service. Church and Rehabilitation centers were her new comfort zones. But even with the medications and all the medical effort, Wanjiru’s deliverance came from Proverbs 18:21  “The tongue has the power of life and death.” as opposed to her Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) Sessions where she was made to believe that she has no power over alcohol, the pastor on this particular Sunday emphasized on the need to speak life over her almost ending life. Convincing her that she then had power over her addiction. This was liberating, and enlightening.

Today Caroline is sober, stable, and born again, all was not lost, she walked with experts emotionally, mentally, and spiritually and she says above all, she walked with christ, she found her answers in the bible as she was once told; Proverbs 17:17 but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother

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